I am Takahishi, Spectral Ranger from the Marpal Galaxy. I am tracking a fugitive from the Mung Dokka Prison Chain. He is a Pard Planet native known as Fache-Trarna, which translates to "he which enjoys probing solid waste bio-chutes". He is very dangerous.
I will give you a weapon with which to protect yourself. It looks like a breast pump, but trust me, it is very powerful and it will intimidate Fache-Trarna.
Now, should he show up, I can be summoned by the sound of intestinal gas passing from your anal orifice while you are enunciating my name. I just need to get a sample of the tonal characteristics.
Thank you. Now I bid you farewell and good luck. I must be on my way.
Source: Bikini Machines