Uncle Kenneth loved to regale his nephews with stories of when he was hardware warden to King William IV of Luxembourg. "I remember the day His Majesty commanded me to procure a Golden Sledgehammer for him. Turns out he used it to pound the head of his 5th wife, Queen Phoetvurst, into pudding. The king was so pleased with the quality of the hammer that he awarded me the Medal of St. Swithens."
"Uncle Kenneth," piped Phillip, "tell us again about the time you sold the ironing board to Napoleon!"
Many Thanks to Mad Vortex