Excuse Me

"If my friend can't come, don't look for me to attend."


Many Thanks to Sloth Unleashed

Dancing Zebra For Hire

Hey! Make your next party one they'll be talking about for weeks. Hire a Dancing Zebra from Earl Scheib's "What-The-Vuck" Costumed Entertainers. This old boy (complete with two "animators") has charm to burn, and will entertain your party attendees with simulated regurgitation and defecation, rendition of punk rock standards, and Don Rickles style insult comedy. Very reasonable rates; available for day and night engagements. Each zebra has been neutered.


Many Thanks to Everlasting Blort

Liebling

Kurt felt a profound frustration. He could see the lovely back of Elke, but could not see her face to speak into her eyes. Earlier, he had seen the anterior of her for a brief instance, and he could remember her delicate breasts complete with rosesbud nipples. 


Why had he been made so old? Elke would never fall in love with him.


Then, he had a horrible realization. Marionettes were only made with features that would be on display to the audience. No effort was wasted on features that would not be seen.


"Mein Gott!", he exclaimed to himself. "Not only have they made my Elke a chorus girl. They have made her a showgirl as well!"


A tear rolled down his varnished cheek.


Courtesy of  Sloth Unleashed

Hey, Girlfriends

Want ya to meet my new boyfriend, Smokey. He's a sock puppet.


(I know, I know, but he's a dedicated nudist)


Again, Thanks, to Fuck Yeah Dementia

Why Can't We All Live Together?

"Now, Horsefarina, don't be cross. I will play with you a little later. But I simply must sort out my beanie babie collection before there's a revolt."


Once Again, Thanks to You Can't Piss On Hospitality

Madame Khalamidia And Friends

The beautiful but aging dame K (who is reputed to have a libido as big as all outdoors) hangs out with her marionette buddies Sploogie the Klown and Lady Downonner-Lucke. Sploogie has been charged with a variety of vice squad misdemeanors and can't be left alone with child marionettes. Lady D-L keeps up a brave face, but her breath reeks of turpentine and she has been discovered at least once with her pungent womb-threshold in Sploogie's face.


No matter, the trio is well regarded by the outre crowd in Palookaville, and they can often be found late evenings trading bon mots over Muscatel at Chez Boi-Howdy on Mustard Blvd.

Gratitude Galore to You're Horrible

Yeah, My Friends Tell Me I Look Like Ron Perlman

What do your enemies tell you?


Many Thanks to Sloth Unleashed

Thank Heaven...

Maurice was fascinated by the detail that went into the construction of this altogether unnaturally alluring marionette. So much so that he wished he could have, oh, say, an hour alone with it for closer inspection.


Courtesy of It's Not Safe Here

I Have Big Plans For You, Marionette

Howdy kept up a brave face, but he was inwardly terrified. He had fallen into the hands of Alfred Hitchcock, Jr. The youngster had an unnatural fascination with his little wooden neck.

Many Thanks to Sloth Unleashed