I Got Chappy Here

"...because he reminds me of you so much. Uh, well, he reminds me of a PART of you, that is."

< giggles >

Nicked from Ghastly Delights

Playtime

By now, Jimmy had figured out the drill. Recognizing that look on his mom's face, he knew that the next words out of her mouth would be "When I get this into the oven, we'll have 45 minutes to go in the bedroom and mess around with Mr. Happy".

Many Thanks to Fuck Yeah Vintage-Retro

Oh, David

This reminds me of the way your penis looked  during your Spiders From Mars phase.


From The Bounty That Is Tack-O-Rama

No, You Imbecile

"Your penis will not be able to unbutton my blouse."


Nicked From I'll Tumblr For Ya

Hmmm, Right

Yeah, that's just what they look like.


Much Obliged to Tofutti Break

Does That Really Work?

Via Miss Cellania

Huh?

Turns out Frank's schlong was so humongous that he could only get the head of it halfway in before Gladys was screaming in pain.


Nevertheless, he considered it his husbandly duty to go all the way.


Much Obliged to Turhan's Bey Company

Uhhh, I Dunno

Is it longish, warm, bulbous? Does it like dark, wet tunnels? No bounce, no play? Spit mayonnaise and wilt? 


Does it steal your brain?
  
Does it like me?
  
Is it Herve Villechaize?


Grazie a Bohemea

Henry's Bachelor Party

Don't tell me that Victorians didn't know how to loosen up and get raunchy.


Many Thanks to Wicked Knickers

Bring The Prisoner Here

Topsider! Lower your trousers. I wish to see if your furstukken is equal to those of my underlings.


Source: You Can't Piss On Hospitality

The God Of The Emo People

Tor-Turus. As conceived by Michael Caldwell Dickinson. Pain's triumph over pleasure.


From The Bounty That Is You Can't Piss On Hospitality

Okay, I Give Up

In finding images for my posts, I run into all kinds of weird shit. Most times, I can either understand the point that the artist is trying to make, or make my own story up about it.


This one I have to throw my hands up and say "WTF?!?".


It has impact, and anything with burgers in it is okay with me. But, sheesh.


Many Thanks to You Can't Piss On Hospitality

Inseam Hallucinations

Tiffany, it's the oddest, most unsettling thing. For some days now, as I am waking, I have  the most distinct impression that I have a penis. Then I reach down and, for a split second, I can feel balls and shaft, then -- gone. I feel like I may be going insane.


Grateful Acknowledgments to Day's Run Away

Hugo, My Dear

"Would you please go over and tell Mr.Venaldon that we would rather not have his penis to see so early in the morning?"


Eternally Grateful to Peach Bee

Sheee-it!

This bottle almost as big as my tool.


Stolen From You Can't Piss On Hospitality

A Fairy Tale For The Perverted

Canalissa's had a preternatural sexuality that caused legions of penises to flock to her whenever she exposed her vagina. The really bizarre element of this phenomenon was the fact that none of the penises were attached to a male human being.  Nevertheless, each was unique in construction as if they had detached themselves from their owners all over the world and marched to her boudoir. 


Canalissa died of happy exhaustion at age 25.


Nicked From A 1000 Broken Dreams

Yeah, I'm An Old Dog

But I still have one good trick in my bag.


Thanks to the Wonderful Fuck Yeah Dementia

This Really Doesn't Need Anything Else

Much Obliged to Tofutti Break

Yeah, Pretty Impressive

But what she doesn't know is that when he gets an erection, he passes out from loss of blood to his brain. 


(Besides, it doesn't take an engineer to figure out that an erect penis this long will have all sorts of "handling" problems, including a tendency to buckle, and difficulties maintaining rigidity.)


No, I'm not the least bit envious.


Much Obliged to Retrozone

The Ugly Truth

But regardless of how I felt, I had to face it -- I was a dick.


Via Trash