First, Remove All Your Clothing

Now, come over here and I will hold you and absorb the radiation. Don't worry I have an inherent radiation desensitivity -- I won't be damaged, but my body will attract all alpha rays so that they don't do any further damage to you...


Seriously! Hurry, Miss!


Much Obliged to Atompunk

Dear Friends

The Creator does not wish that you live a drab, fashion-starved life. I, Friedon McFuddigle, have a revelatory tome that will tell you how you can have wealth and happiness through dressing correctly. Cravats are absolutely necessary to your well-being, my friends. Don't dress down and frown. Dress up and buck up.


This invaluable information can be yours for the paltry sum of $25.99. Send to the address on the screen, and soon you will have knowledge that Socrates would have killed for.


Don't delay.


Much Obliged to Mighty Real