Here's a little something different from what you have been used to from me. I am going to share with you some of the titles that people, including me, made up for movies that might have been running at your local drive-in in the 50s and 60s. These are from a thread on one of the forums on the Classic Horror Film Board.
THE THING WE SHOULD REALLY THINK OF A NAME FOR
THE THONG FROM ANOTHER WORLD ~ 3 giant women from another planet (Barbara Eden, Sherry Jackson, Mara Corday) invade earth, wearing only thong bikinis, and the army, scientists, and all available male heroes gladly surrender.
THE CHEESE GODDESS - famous chef (Tony Randall) hires great white hunter (Andy Griffith) to lead him into the jungle in search of a legendary smegma queen (Susan Cabot).
CRUSTACEOUS CUTIES - paper products salesman (Red Buttons) discovers a hillbilly community deep in the Smoky Mountains where the women are beautiful but never have been properly toilet-trained.
IT ATE WITH ITS MOUTH OPEN -- Horrible monster chomps on victims, rolling their remains around in its open mouth which inspires fear and panic in the populace.
CRUPNOOKA, DEMON GODDESS - soldiers disturb the temple of an ancient Sumerian deity, releasing the entity to inflict the horrors of full-body hickeys on assorted victims.
THE MONSTER THAT DISCOED DOWN -- the corpse of Goliath is resurrected by a mad scientist who is determined to not let Disco die. Reanimated Goliath looks good in big bells, but cannot seem to get The Freak dancestep down, and goes on a rampage destroying discotheques from miles around. Andre the Giant, Casey Casem, Olivia Devils-Spawn, Mr. Boccia-Galoop, Podsuck the Flying Hedgehog.
TARTAR SAUCE OF THE LIVING DEAD -- When a seafood restaurant is built over a cemetery, zombies rise for the halibut and crab croquettes. Unfortunately, zombies don't get paid til the 12th of Never, so the establishment goes out of business and the zombies decide to switch to brains with a side of remoulade sauce. Buddy Hackett, Terry-Thomas, Arch Hall, Jr., Connie Stevens, Snarf-Snarf P. Crudpumpkin.
20 BILLION MILES TO PISMO BEACH -- A flying gravy boat from Saturn crashes in the surf off Southern California and releases an assortment of horrors on the residents of a little tourist town: 6-foot snails that excrete cheese grits, a cross between a chicken and a centipede, 6,000 killer silverfish, wasp-like creatures with no stings but smelling strongly of the aftermath of sexual intercourse, a giant Pekingnese mutt that never shuts up, and a humanoid entity whose visage alternates between that of Charlemagne the Great and Pia Zadora. Starring Liberace, Bob Denver, Rod Taylor, Pia Zadora, Toby Wing, Andy Devine, Belarus the Rutting Phlegm-Whale.
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