Agnes and Muriel kept the bad guys away by sheer force of their personalities.
Many Thanks to Aliens and Ice Cream
Mrs. Arlene "Pidgie" Schwinn, of Atlantic City, N.J., has been a rabid fan of heavy metal music since Ozzy Osbourne's Master of Reality days (when she was in her early 30s), and has continued to rock to the genre to this day. An outspoken advocate for the music, she wrote angry letters to Run D.M.C. and The Beastie Boys in the 1990s excoriating them for their bastardization of the style.
Via You Can't Piss On Hospitality
Move your sorry little ass down the way, Honey. We don't need you interfering with our molesting your boy friend there.
From The Bounty That Is A 1000 Broken Dreams
...blow yer nuts off for ya. Just try going through my purse again while my back is turned.
Many Thanks to Fuck Yeah Dementia
Honey Babe and the Los Alamitos had had a lengthy professional relationship, but even if she was in denial about the viability of her trade at this point, the motel had long since jetissoned such delusions.
Snitched From My Old Friend, Chateau Thombeau
"Son, you're still driving this old pile of junk. I could be so much more comfortable in one of those 1959 Cadillac DeVille's. And they are so grand looking."
"Ma, it's 1954."
Much Obliged to Fantomatik
Just the kind of cool little old ladies I wish lived in my neighborhood. Been out shopping, huh, Darlings?
Grazie a Weird Animals Eating Chemicals
Alright. which one of you geniuses asked Granny to show her tits?
Many Thanks to Fantomatik
How dare you look at me with your apple-pie eating face and tell me you voted for Nixon in '60. What will you do next, rob this armored car?
Nicked From Happenstance
"Baby, I di'nt get dis way from livin' in a convent. Since I was 15, I been smokin'. Usin' tanning machines since '79. Drink a pint of whiskey every coupla days. Eat once a day, tacos and a Slim-Fast. Sex whenever I can afford a gigolo. And, shoot, sleep whenever I just can't go no mo'. Oh, and don' fergit the laxatives -- cain't do widout 'em anymo'."
Many Thanks to Funny Pictures
"I told you photographer punks to stay away."
Another Tip of the Hat to Lunar Pancake!
Ethel had dressed to the nines for her rendezvous with the mysterious, handsome gentleman. She waited at her usual table for almost an hour after the time they had agreed upon. Profoundly disappointed, she could no longer find the will to keep her legs together.
Source: La Soledad del Disenador de Fondo
