Young Human

That is a very delicious-looking butt-sausage you have ejected. Would you mind letting me have it. I really am in need of a snack. Oh, it is very pungent.


Much Obliged to Bleeding Brains

Paula!

Oh, did I catch you in the middle of Second Breakfast?


Via You Can't Piss On Hospitality

So What Are You Telling Me Here?

That you are selling imitation crustacean meat made from doggies?


I'll pass.


Much Obliged to Tofutti Break

Something To Make

...you throw up in your mouth a little.


Many Thanks to Tofutti Break

Damn

I found a hare in my drink.


Happily Pillaged From Fuck Yeah, Dementia!

Nazi Miracle

Nella was 4th generation Third Reich. At age 19, she began to experience oozings of a white viscous liquid from between her toes. This unguent when applied to the forehead, caused the person to manifest the Nazi mindset; in fact, it was reported that once the substance was absorbed, the person invariably stood and gave the Nazi salute. 


As Nella matured, the flow of this liquid became more and more pronounced until the young woman was producing gallons of the stuff daily. She was co-opted by the local secret Nazi underground, and a grand plan was built around the phenomenonal material. 


Here she is seen attended by her SS lady-in-waiting during one of her daily harvesting sessions.


Many Thanks to Moth Milk

How Many Times Have I Told You

...not to play with your food, young lady.


Many Thanks to I Want To Touch Your Face

Ugh

I believe I'm gonna get a bit more sleep. You go ahead without me, Hon'.


Much Obliged to Retrogasm

I Really Appreciate The Clean-up Down There

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My Majestic Lord Neptune

I have brought the Royal Spitbucket as you ordered.


Many Thanks to Cosmic Machine

Here's A Place

That could benefit from a woman's touch.


Nicked From Grottu Orloff's Pad!

You Like My Bedroom Eyes, Faranji?

Will you be shocked at how lackadaisical my potty-wash habit is?


Courtesy of Trash

Now, Let Us See, Western Devil

How shall we end your pathetic life? Shall we make you eat Egg Foo Yong laced with glass? Or should we give you a sulfuric acid enema? Or, yes, this will be good? We will shave your testicles and dye them orange, and insert them through a slot in a serving plate. Then we will allow a maiden, starved for days, to have access. The resemblance to kumquats will be so real to her desperate mind, that she will tear them from the plate and eat them without bothering to peel them. Lucky for you, Gaijin.


Via No, You Shut Up

Habibi, He Is Arrived!

A Lebanese boy announces an appearance of the Prolapsed Uterus Fairy. It will mean extra pounds for the family because his grandmother has placed the organ under her pillow.


Much Obliged to No, You Shut Up

Now You Have Made Baaltor Mad

Run like hell!


Grazie a Trash

For Charity

Hello, Sir. The Sisters of Jayne Mansfield are selling broasted hogsheads for their ministry to underdeveloped Manchester teens. Would you care to purchase one for a contribution? 


Grazie a Sloth Unleashed

Only In Ghana

The Cola With The Salty Edge


From My Dear Wife

A Selection Of

Post-Medieval head lice habitats.


Many Thanks to RetroFuture

The Green Olives Are The Perfect Touch

I love mixing veggies and fruit together in gelatin.


Courtesy of Kitschy Living

A Rare Case Where A Literal Reading Applies

Spaten-Brau, a Munich lager sold only at the DeutscheGarten beer hall, could be interpreted as "spat-in brau", because before serving, the beermaids contribute a measure of their sputum to each stein.


Via Atompunk